


a hand in his own

by merthurlin



Category: Shaderunners (Webcomic)
Genre: Other, platonic fingering as a way to show love and support, this was supposed to be more porny but it turned feelsy instead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-09-12 22:31:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9093661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merthurlin/pseuds/merthurlin
Summary: "Sometimes Ezra just got to be… too much. Too much planning, too much responsibility, too much guilt. All of his thoughts and plans and hopes and fears swirling inside his head, drowning him better than any ocean could."
(Ezra gets lost. Pam makes it better with some friendly fingering).





	

Sometimes Ezra just got to be… too much. Too much planning, too much responsibility, too much guilt. All of his thoughts and plans and hopes and fears swirling inside his head, drowning him better than any ocean could. The signs were always there for anyone curious enough to read them: jittering, stuttering, not enough food, not enough sleep. “Sex deprived”, Easton called it, and always offered to help with a leer.

Pam would never tell him, because god knows his ego was inflated enough as it is, but he wasn’t exactly…. Wrong. And yet his help would have been the least productive solution to the problem.

Because when Ezra got like that, there was only one thing that could help, and it wasn’t the angry, self-destructive sex that Easton could provide.

It required a bit more… finesse.

Finesse was Ezra splayed out on his bed, each of his hands bound to each side of the bed. Finesse was his bowed back, his shaking thighs, his barely controlled moans and gasps. Finesse was a bottle of lube, half empty besides her. Finesse was using her clever fingers, the ones that learned to steal and to forage and to forge, for even more… delicate work.

It never got to Pam, not the way it would get Easton, and now Dom ( _new and gullible but earnest, tripping on his own words trying to impress them and especially Ezra. Easton found it hilarious, and Pam did too, a little, but mostly it made her ache for him. Ezra was difficult in the best of time, and the poor kid was in for a world of hurt)._

It never got to her, but there was something about the visage of Ezra splayed before her. It wasn’t sexually pleasing for her, although she couldn’t deny the aesthetic value – Ezra was a handsome man, and the sharp lines of his back prove to be even more distracting when not covered with layers. She isn’t an artist, not the way Ivo is, but those moments always makes her wish for perfume, even more than usual. It seems almost sacrilege, to not see his back and ass and thighs covered in color, to not see the contrast between his white skin and every other shade there exists (that there _must_ exist).

But this wasn’t about her. This was about Ezra, and the way his breath stops in his throat the second her first finger breaches him, the way his shaking thighs now tremble, the way she can almost see all of the thoughts running around his head coming into a halt. He is always so tightly wound, but it’s here where his body can freely let go, when he becomes a writhing mess of only wanting and needing.

There is never any talk when they do this, but if she could she would tell him how _good_ he was. She wouldn’t mean just here, in his bed, with two more of her fingers joining the first, the way his body accepts them beautifully, shoving backwards to get more. She wouldn’t mean just how loud he becomes, how his moans and gasps blend together into a rhythm even Ivo would be hard pressed not to call beautiful. She wouldn’t even mean his complete submission, his complete trust in her, his complete acceptance of what his body needs, right there, right now.

Or, well, she wouldn’t mean just that. Because while all that deserves praise, she would mean how good he was outside this room, outside this bubble he created for himself. She would mean how not everything is his fault, his responsibility, how good he was for her, for Ivo and Satinder and even Dom (probably not Easton, though. She isn’t sure anything could be good for Easton). How good he was for their cause.

But this is not about her, and it’s not about what he needs, but what he wants. And if Ezra Kelly wants to be taken so completely out of his body, wants someone’s fingers to take apart his body and his mind, wants to feel taken in a way only sex can make one feel, well.

Pam would never let anyone else see their fearless leader like this, is all.

**Author's Note:**

> i cant believe im the only one writing porn here, guys, get yourself together, you are tearing this family apart.


End file.
